Aurora was a girl born into this world. She didn’t know she was with words. She just was. But as she grew, nobody knew. The people that taught her words didn’t give her the words to know she was a girl, so she only knew in a place beyond words, beyond thoughts. Her body knew. But the words and the labels caused her mind to never know. The way her body looked said she wasn’t a girl. The beliefs she was taught said she couldn’t be any other way. It was a forbidden thing to know.

She kept coming to a canyon that she wanted to cross. She could see what was on the other side. There were beautiful things, full of color and excitement…forests made of delicate trees surrounded by sensitive flowers in varied hues, beautiful music dancing on winds of color, echoes of laughter hinting at joy and adventure, rivers of emotion flowing freely. But she never could cross the canyon when she saw it. There was no way across, no one showed the way…no one had even built a way that Aurora could see.

It was not a place for her to go.

At least that was what she was told. Looking around her, she saw many voices and the voices were full of knowledge. People everywhere knew where she should go, because they said they knew best. Their opinions were swift and strong and sure. They would lead her by the hand down proven paths of certainty and all the while she kept glancing over her shoulder at the forbidden land that she knew not how to reach.

Time passed and she was told many things. She was given clothes to wear and she was to be called ‘he’ and she was named Christopher.

Aurora’s life was constructed for her and she was taught this was good and not to be questioned. The clothes were determined, the name was fixed and the paths were labeled so well that anyone who did not diligently stay on these paths was surely foolish and mistaken, or perhaps even selfish. Aurora would glance over her shoulder, wondering if she would catch glimpses of the canyon again and the lands across them.

But to her dismay, to look was even forbidden, for the paths were so clearly marked and paved with such precision that to look away from them was to be ungrateful and inappropriate.

Things continued as such for a long time, and one cannot live in such a way before this way becomes the only way one can remember.

Christopher became the role she played and the clothes she wore became the prison within which she was to be contained all her years.

However, Aurora was full of light and the light could not be contained completely. It streamed out through the seams and the cracks, drawing her toward the land in which she belonged.

Yet the path there would not be a straight one. Such a straight path would have drawn too much attention. Hands would have straightaway taken hold of hers and directed her back to where she supposedly belonged.

And the eyes.

The eyes of all around her would look disapprovingly…with warning. The longing and the pain was too much, Aurora did not know how to be Aurora. She could not find a way. She could not see the way. To be Aurora was to head toward the places that called her. But this calling was in her cells and her heart…and not in her words or her thoughts. She was helpless to understand or to speak where she belonged or what this place was called or how to get there.

The knowingness ran deep, as an underground river, hidden from all.

Nevertheless, it was flowing all along.

But the time was not now.

With the path obscured and the longing too deep to bear, Aurora did the only thing she could do. She fell into a kind of waking slumber, and she claimed the only power she could claim at the time. And that power was to let Christopher walk the paths. For all those with the watching eyes and the grasping hands approved this name and this identity. She was still not free, but when she let Christopher lead the way, there were some privileges they granted. There was some freedom to be had. Freedom to choose between the different paths that were already approved, that is.

As Aurora sat, quietly waiting and watching from within, the slumber become more and more alluring. And Christopher’s role became more and more entrenched. It was Christopher’s job to watch out for danger. It was his job to study the paths carefully and perfectly, that no wrong steps might be made. He took his job very seriously and the role he played became stronger, more set, clinging to Aurora so tightly that the only comfortable thing to do was sleep a little more.

There were times, of course, when she would awaken a little more. The longing and the calling would arise and she would try to look. Christopher would feel these times and he would panic. He knew the danger of looking too much, though he could not name the fear. He only felt it. His role was to protect and know the paths well, and so he feared anything that might threaten this.

Aurora, in turn, could feel this fear and it troubled her. She was not one to fear. But she was helpless to change that which she could not name or see. Her love gave her patience like the trees and her light gave her wisdom to trust in future times.

This did not stop the sadness, though. There were tears and much loneliness.

And everything that she felt, Christopher felt. But he did not feel it with an understanding of the lands beyond that Aurora felt called to. He felt the feelings and assumed he was wrong, that he was bad. And every time he felt these, he worked harder to walk the best paths and to understand the paths better than anyone. Something in him called him to become an expert at these paths.

Aurora watched Christopher hard at work over the years. She did not understand the busy-ness he was at much of the time, and so there was anger that arose here and there. She wondered why he was so driven to study and walk these paths that were not the ones she wanted to walk. They were going in the wrong direction, so it seemed.

Over the years, however, things started to change. Christopher found paths that led into unusual places. The paths he found were clever ones, for they seemed to be like the approved ones, but they veered off in unexpected ways and he would disappear into paths through unexplored forests for periods of time. He would always return, then venture off again, often seen carrying strange tools and items that drew raised eyebrows and wringing hands from those who watched.

Christopher had a way with words and he had become an expert at paths. He came and went in such ways that nobody could make sense of him or what he was up to. Many would rush up to him to grab his hands and pull him back to where they say he belonged. But his knack for exploring and going unseen at will kept others unsure what to do with him.

All the while, Aurora drifted in and out of sleep. She would get hints of what Christopher was up to, but she knew not what to make of it. Discouragement and sadness were the things that met her when she awoke, and so waking was short-lived. However, she had memories of beautiful places and canyons that flickered in and out amidst these times of waking and sleeping, leaving her unsure what was real and what were dreams.

And so things continued for years like this. Christopher walked paths countless and varied, leaving many of those around him throwing their hands up in exasperation and confoundment. Nobody knew what he was up to or why he couldn’t just stay on one path. His patterns were unpredictable, they would say. His ways unreadable, they would think. His decisions foolish, they would judge.

There were a few that looked at Christopher differently, though. He is up to something important, they would say. He moves with purpose and meaning, they would think. He finds wonderful paths I didn’t even know existed, they would praise.

There were some eventful moments that created quite a stir during all these years. For a while, Christopher learned to move so that others found it difficult to follow him.

Aurora remembered these eventful times and awoke to watch, so great was the stirring.

“You cannot take this path, Chris”, Aurora heard people saying to Christopher. “It is forbidden and you will suffer for it.”

 “I will take it nonetheless,” she heard Christopher saying. “For this path I found is called the Path of Empowerment and I must walk it. It calls to me and leads to an important place.”

And as Aurora heard this, trust in Christopher kindled a little. The knowingness in his voice and his commitment to empowerment spoke to her. These were things Aurora knew.

Years later, she awoke to hear:

“You cannot take this path, Chris. It is forbidden. You have committed your life to never taking this particular path. It will destroy your life.”

“I will take it nonetheless,” she heard Christopher saying. “For this path is called the Path of Freedom and I must walk it. It calls to me and leads to an important place.”

Aurora felt trust growing further in her heart. And she found herself sleeping a little less often.

Some years passed again, and Aurora’s attention was called to yet another dramatic interaction:

“You cannot take this path, Chris. It is forbidden. You have taken too many wrong paths already. You must stop before it is too late.”

“I will take it nonetheless,” he said. “For this path is called the Path of Self-Love and I must walk it. It calls to me and leads to an important place.”

There were other such moments over the years, some more dramatic than others. But one such moment woke Aurora in a way that she had never experienced before. People from all around had gathered and were saying to Christopher:

“You cannot take this path, Chris. We will not let you. You have shown you do not know how to walk any of these paths, you must listen to us. Enough is enough.”

“This path is the culmination of all my other paths,” Aurora heard Christopher say. “All paths have led to this special place. For this path is called the Path of Dawn and I must walk it. It calls to me and leads to an important place of awakening. You are not the masters of where I walk. I am.”

So Christopher walked the path. But it was a long, meandering path, albeit beautiful and peaceful, with no one to criticize. Yet Aurora grew tired again, for the longing and the calling she felt was such an old and tender wound that she learned to sleep right away when it arose.

After two years of walking this winding, unexplored path, Aurora happened to awake while it was dark. Christopher was walking under the stars on a clear night. And Aurora looked to her right and saw the northern lights dancing in the sky in the distance. Colors of blue and green and lavender shimmered and spoke to her heart in a way that nothing ever had since the day she first saw the lands beyond the canyon. It was too dark to see the lands around her, but the mysterious, beautiful sky entranced her and caused her heart to leap with a crisp wakefulness.

And Christopher finally stopped walking. He set down his bag, pulled out some supplies and set to working on something in the dark that she could not see.

“I have just a few finishing touches to do here, and then it will be complete,” he said to himself.

A few hours later, faint wisps of light began to appear on the horizon. But it was still dark enough to see the swarm of glowing, bobbing lights approaching.

They were lanterns. Dozens of them. And soon the sound of disgruntled voices followed. As they approached, angry and self-righteous faces, flickering in the lantern light, came into view. All of the disapproving people had appeared.

“We thought we heard you here, Chris. So this is where you have been coming all of these years. You knew we wouldn’t let you take the main path to this spot, and so you somehow found different and unknown paths to get here. How did you do it? What have you been up to? You can’t be here. This place is forbidden above all others.”

“I didn’t find this place at first. I just walked paths that called to me. Paths that looked interesting. I couldn’t resist this longing inside of me to explore places you would not let me look. I don’t know where this longing comes from, but it has been too bright and too loving to resist.”

“We have told you many times before that listening to unknown longings is a recipe for disaster. And now it has brought you here, to this place of all places,” they said with disgust.

“What you call disaster,” Christopher said, “I call beauty. I accidentally found this place many years ago, and I felt drawn to return as often as I could, to complete a task I feel excited about. But I knew you would not allow me to walk the main path here, it is watched and gated. Yet, in your obsession that we all follow the correct paths, I became an expert at paths. And I found many ways…a wide variety of unique paths that lead to different places, including here. And I forged some of my own, so that I could finish my task here without you stopping me.”

The sky was brightening and their lanterns seemed to dim in comparison. “Well, we have found you now and we will not permit this any longer. It has all been for naught, you have wasted decades of your life in this fruitless and dangerous task.”

As they spoke, and the morning light began to grow, Aurora looked around and began to see something in the distance. It was a land that began to make some forgotten memories come to life. And there was a canyon. A familiar canyon, as if from a previous life almost.

As her heart started to leap within her chest at these waking memories, the group of people stepped forward, hands outreached to apprehend Christopher. But Christopher backed away, toward the canyon.

“Come with us!” the people said. “You will fall into the canyon! Stop this foolishness and come home with us. You will be happier there.”

But Christopher kept walking. Then, he turned and walked straight toward the canyon, to gasps of all the others. And he stepped into the canyon.

The people cried out in shock. But Christopher did not fall. He seemed to be standing on the air.

In a flash, the dawn broke over the horizon and bathed the land in golden light, revealing that Christopher was standing on a bridge over the canyon.

“Where did this bridge come from?!” the people exclaimed. “This cannot be here!”

Without turning to face them, Christopher said, “I built it.”

 He then proceeded to walk across it over the canyon. And the people, despite all their hatred and anger toward the land across the canyon, feared it above all else. And so they would not step foot on the bridge. They stared, mouths open.

However, a few followed. “I have been waiting years for such a bridge to be built,” some said.

Christopher crossed with them and as he did, the land across the canyon was coming to life under the coming dawn.

And Aurora saw.

She saw the land like she never had before. Its beauty sang to her. Its familiarity warmed her and cast out the coldness she had been huddling within all her years. The slumber that never fully left her eyes, suddenly vanished as the morning dew. And her awakening was so bright and glorious that the clothes Christopher was wearing were transformed and his appearance lit up in a burst of color.

On the other side of the bridge, in the lands that called to her, there were countless people waiting. They were smiling. Their faces glowed and were filled with tears. They were people with eyes to see her for who she was.

They arrived at the end of the bridge, ready to step into this new land. Aurora went to take her first step, but felt a hand grab hers and hold her. She startled at first, thinking the people had come again to pull her back. But she turned to see the image of Christopher there, tears in his eyes, holding her hand.

“I didn’t know this was why I was building the bridge all these years,” he said. “I just thought I was doing it because I felt drawn to it. A part of me felt selfish for building it. I worried so many times I was foolish, that I was truly going to mess my life up. I had to do it mostly on my own, with but a few to truly support me.” Tears now streaming, he whispered, “But it was you all along, wasn’t it? Calling me here, drawing me here, against all odds.”

“Yes,” Aurora said. “Though I did not know it was because of me that you built it. I just longed for where I knew I belonged, even though I didn’t know what it was called or how to get there. Somehow, miraculously, you found a way.”

“It wasn’t easy,” he said. “So many doubts. So many fears. There are dark and painful paths I have passed through to find my way here.”

“A part of me always trusted you,” she said, “even though I felt so frustrated at times that you wouldn’t let me out. But I see now that it wasn’t time. I couldn’t have found this place or been able to build a bridge in this place looking like myself. They would have stopped me before I knew how. But you were able to do it. You brought us here.”

“But what will happen to me now?” he asked. “Who am I?”

“You are me, of course,” she said with a smile. “You will always be Christopher, the person who got us here. You will always be in my heart.”

“I am tired.”

“The only parts of you that are tired are the parts that had to put on masks. The masks will sleep now, for masks are meant to sleep. But our real selves are never supposed to sleep. All those people had it backwards.” Aurora stepped forward and hugged Christopher. “You are me. It is safe to let go now. Nothing that is real will be lost.”

“But who will protect?” Christopher asked.

Aurora smiled, turned around and pointed at the magical lands that lay before them. “In this place, we don’t need to protect ourselves by cleverly hiding. In this place, speaking our truth is our armor and showing our true face is our guide.”

Christopher still felt afraid to let go. “Who will keep building bridges, then?”

 “We have come home. There is no need for bridges. We have already arrived where we belong…where you brought us.” Aurora pulled Christopher forward by the hand, so that he stood side by side with her, both of them facing rolling fields of green bathed by golden pink light and framed by glistening waterfalls surrounded by trees and life. “Are you ready?”

Christopher began to weep. “I am scared.”

“I know.”

“This is unknown. This is unexpected. I haven’t planned for this.”

“But you did. You’ve been planning for this all along, you just couldn’t see it consciously. It would have scared you too much.”

Christopher nodded slowly.

Aurora looked at Christopher. “The days of planning when to express yourself are over.”

Christopher began to smile openly and nod, even as tears ran down his face. “It does sound nice. I am tired of watching and planning.”

“So,” she said brightly with a smile, “are you ready?”

“Though this takes courage beyond any I have used so far, I am finally ready to rest.”

“Then look into my eyes,” said Aurora. Christopher did so. “What do you see?”

“I see my eyes.”

“And I see my eyes in you, through that mask. If you are ready, remove your mask.”

“My mask?” Christopher said. “But this is my face.”

She knowingly smiled, just looking, until he realized. His eyes widened, then Christopher put his hands on what he thought was his face, and he pulled it forward. Beneath the mask was the face of Aurora. In an instant, Aurora saw that she had been talking to her reflection.

Like a wind, memories of all the years of sleepiness and drowsiness came rushing back clearly, as she realized that all that Christopher saw was what she had seen. She was crying as all the pieces came rushing back together…the sadness, the grief, the fear, the confusion, the shame, the beauty, the light, the love. Everything split apart was mending into one with threads of light.

“Then there are to be no goodbyes after all.”

She placed her hand on her heart.

“We shall go together then, for I am whole.”

Then Aurora stepped into her lands, where she knew she belonged from the very beginning, where many embraces awaited her.

*******************

And those in the old lands still stood, watching what had occurred across the bridge, some with shock, some with anger, some with confusion, some with wonder. Some had already crossed. And the bridge that Christopher built still remained, ever waiting for any others who wished to join Aurora in the land where the only price of entry was to take off all masks.